Raishmar Carrillo: From the hell of sexual abuse and abandonment to ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina’ to inspire

Raishmar Carrillo is one of the finalists of ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina’, she has a life story full of bravery, perhaps the strongest of all seasons. Separated from her parents as a child in Puerto Rico, since they had drug addiction problems, she became a daughter of the stateAnd so she went from home to home until she was 21 years old, where she was left alone, and having to take care of herself.

But that was not her greatest test, as she had to go from home to home since no one adopted her. At age 5, one of her foster parents sexually abused her.

Raishmar came to the Univision reality show not only to tell his story, but to send a clear message that even from the worst hell you get out, and dreams can be fulfilled.

In exclusive, while preparing for the dance challenge this Sunday, we talk to Raishmar, who opens his heart even more to us.

-Each participant is unique, but your story has aroused love, compassion and controversy …

Raishmar Carrillo: Yes, I grew up watching ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina‘, and I had never seen a participant, a queen, with my life story and I always had that dream of arriving here with that message, because I consider that When Daddy God gives us a story, he not only gives us that pain, but he gives us a purpose with themThat’s why I came to NBL to win or not win the crown, to leave that precedent that there are people with my story too.

-When were you aware that there were other children with a conventional family and you did not?

RaishmarCarrillo: I think from a very young age My definition of family was always: “I am in a house that is not mine”… It is not the same for you to have your mom and dad, and then have them remove you, and you notice the difference. For me it was always my reality, I did not have the maturity to understand it, but from a very young age one realizes that the parents of your classmates at school are going to look for them, and a person that you know is not going to look for you. mother.

-Not only did you have to go from house to house, you also suffered abuse of all kinds, and you had to lose your innocence very early.

Raishmar Carrillo: I think no one should lose that innocence. They remove me from my home to protect me, but unfortunately there are some homes where you also abuse, not all, because there are some where yes, and I was touched by that reality, and as it was the only thing I knew, and It was the only thing that was being taught to me as a child, I thought it was normal. It is not when I started to talk with other friends, with the parents of my friends that you realize that this is not normal, and that there is a very big taboo regarding sexual abuse, and that you should not be touched here or there… It was a moment where I was 5 or 6 years old, I knew it was wrong, but I also knew that if I said something they would remove me from that house, and for me, although it was not my family, it was everything, because if starting from scratch hurts any adult, imagine a child saying: where am I going? … My friends from school, the person who is taking care of me, my little neighbors… So it was an incredible fear at 5 or 6 years old.

-When do you discover or when do you transform all that pain and all that taboo and that silence into courage and moving forward?

Raishmar Carrillo: It is a decision that I make daily, because I am still very afraid to remember these things and say them to the public. It is a very vulnerable moment, but it is a decision that you make every day. I want to be a better person, I don’t want my story to be a story, I want it to have a purpose and to serve as a reference for other people. At the age of 21 I graduated from the Puerto Rico system, I realize that I am alone and I am 100% my responsibility, neither my mother nor my father will help me if I screw up. I find reality, that I have to choose who I am going to be, if I am going to become dependent on government aid, or if I want to study, be a professional, fulfill my goals, dream and dare, and it is a constant decision of every day, I can not lean on my story, no, my story is my story and I did not choose it, but I can choose every day where I want to go.

Raishmar Carrillo from ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina’. Photo: Univision

-Where do you want to go?

Raishmar Carrillos: Very small I saw women very beautiful and I thought that to do the things that I am doing today, you had to have a supportive family, and I am here to show that you do not. I dreamed alone, I looked at myself in the mirror just like little girls do, and looked to the side and looked at the profiles of my face, and dreamed of being here, so I believe that the manifestation is powerful and you build your own path, and of course, Daddy God sends angels to help you, but I’m going to fulfill my dreams. I have 2 degrees in accounting, and in exercise science, but if I’m honest I wasn’t passionate about it, I like it but I’m not passionate about it, so I wanted to be in NBL, I wanted to be a queen, I wanted to aspire for people to know me and be able to to be on a platform that gives meaning to my story, that gives publicity to my story.

– What happened when you turned 21?

Raishmar Carrillo: It was an extremely difficult process, I went through a lot of anxiety, many symptoms that led me to depression, although it did not become so, there I understood that being an accountant was not going to be for me because I understood the value of my story, I said : “If I am an accountant, I will not have the time to share my story, and to do other things that I want to do.” I started doing a second baccalaureate at another university at the same time as I was finishing accounting at the first university. I was 2 years in it, I immersed myself in studies because it was the only thing I knew, the only thing I knew how to do, was to be educated, disciplined and have good grades… No matter how much higher problems I could have trying to be an adult at 21 years of age, rent, water, electricity, car, everything, everything depends on me, I said: “I don’t know what I’m going to be, but I’m going to have two high school degrees because if people who are blessed with having a family have a high school degree, I want to show myself that I can have 2 ”… And that’s what I did, and I just finished both high school degrees, and immersed myself in the competitions of beauty because I was passionate about it and here I am.

-Do you feel that sometimes you are hard on yourself, that you are too demanding?

Raishmar Carrillo: it could be, but maybe I have had to form the little voice of mom and dad that guide you in my head to keep myself aligned, disciplined because many people, with my story, have repeated the cycle, so I constantly evaluate myself because I do not want to repeat it and not only for me, but for future generations, the children that I will have in my future and my grandchildren, I want to be a better person, yes I am firm.

-While you fulfill your dreams you collide with other realities that are different from yours, and the clashes with your companions begin, why?

Raishmar Carrillo: I have thought about it a lot, and I think one day we will talk about it among ourselves, now that there is much more confidence. When someone hears about my story before meeting me, there is a lot of empathy towards meAlthough I do not ask for it, there is a lot of empathy, so they come predisposed to meet the girl who passed through the homes, and went through all this, they do not imagine that for the girl to survive everything that was survived, she had to be very strong, when they hit me it’s kind of difficult to process, and I’m aware of that, but in 1 or 2 weeks all the girls laugh with me, they know me and understand me, because They are no longer thinking of the girl from whom they heard the story, now they are thinking of Raishmar, the woman who survived her.

– And who is Raishmar the woman who survived her?

Raishmar Carrillo: A passionate girl with everything I do, I have learned to be honest because it is the only thing I know how to do. Nevertheless, I try that that honesty does not hurt other people, I am well dedicated, when I say: “I want to do two baccalaureate”, at the same time trusts that I will finish them against all odds. When I declare that I want to enter NBL, Daddy God grants it to me. There are people who say, “my motivation is mom, to make my family proud”, I don’t have that, but I have a story, and it fills my eyes with tears and my heart with joy knowing that each step that I take is a point of reference for people around the world that I do not know, and that perhaps I will not know, but I can change my life, because there are people who have changed my life, with their example, with their history, with their courage, and that is the only thing that fills me, knowing that what I went through was not in vain .

Raishmar Carrillo from 'Nuestra Belleza Latina'
Raishmar Carrillo from ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina’. Photo: Univision

-To those who accused you of not being real, of hiding behind a mask, you told them that we still did not know everything you had lived, why did you decide to fragment your story?

Raishmar Carrillo: When I auditioned for NBL, I decided to tell a part that I had not yet told, because it is something that I have saved for the book that I am writing, because when people sit down to read my story I would like them to read it in its entirety, so that they do not judge based on a single part, then my goal is to publish that autobiography, my goal is to be a social communicator, give talks, travel the world. ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina’ is not a platform for me to just talk about my story, all girls have their own light and all girls have a particular story, I don’t want people to know me just by opening their mouths to tell my story, because I have much more to give, my story was what Daddy God gave me, but I have built on that.

-Let’s imagine that we are in the final and you are the winner, what do you dream of?

Raishmar Carrillo: Leave a precedent, I think Puerto Rico has Dayanara Torres, Zuleika Rivera, and they are exemplary women, but Puerto Rico, Latin America, The world does not have a queen who when they see her say: “She arrived without a family, her mother and father were drug addicts and look at her how she arrived, if she could arrive, I have to put the batteries, I have to believe in myself.”. So for me, the crown represents much more than I carry it, it is a historical message, it is a reference point that we do not know how many people that message will reach, how many it will inspire, and for me that is the great thing, not the crown, not the title, not the contract with Univision, it is doing that magic, that there are little girls who are going to be in foster care like I was, without having a mother, father, family wondering “What am I worth? ? Who I am? Where can I go? ”.

What do you say to those boys or girls who by chance in the house, who touched them, are watching ‘Nuestra Belleza Latina’, that perhaps they just came out of the bathroom where they were touched or were touched improperly and they see you?

Raishmar Carrillo: I would tell them to talk that it is not their fault that their parents are not there, their parents are not trained to be with them, and second you deserve respect, and it’s not the only foster homeWhen wrong things are happening that is not your place, that is not what you deserve, and you will not have parents but you deserve more than that. It is time to speak with your social worker, with a person you trust, who calls the media that you have to call so thatThat you be removed from there, because I promise you that in the next home that touches you, Daddy God will protect you, the universe is going to be in your favor, but you don’t deserve that mistreatment, you don’t deserve it, it’s time to speak, you deserve respect like any other person.



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