When the “wild” sex It is not wild because it is particularly pleasant, but because it seems that you and your partner do not agree between the sheets, it is time to take action on the matter. What can you do when your partner is clumsy in bed? An expert in intimate encounters shares her recommendations.
Don’t criticize everything
The doctor Rebecca johannsen is a member of the Association of Intimacy Professionals and spoke with Well + Good about his advice for a couple in which one of the two members is not exactly skilled in their sexual performance, find comfort, relaxation and pleasure between the sheets.
“There is no wrong way to do it,” says the specialist. Sexual expressions can be many and varied, so try to honestly praise what your partner does well and don’t criticize everything he does in bed. This attitude can help calm and relax you, making the encounter less awkward for both of you.
Remember that behind an anxious, rushed, and stress-filled sexual encounter, there is the insecurity of a person who doubts his performance, his body or is afraid of reactions of the other person. So the awkwardness involves both of them.
Observe what he says with his body
Non-verbal language is fundamental in human communication, and even more so in sexual intimacy. Johannsen suggests that things that we sometimes don’t dare to speak up front and directly can negatively influence our intimacy. So if they are having an awkward sex act you can observe what their body is telling you and open the conversation clearly, but without judgment and without wanting to fight.
For example, if your partner does not make eye contact with you during the meeting or you notice that he is distant or distracted and that makes him clumsy, then you can express what you are perceiving and ask him how he is and why he seems to be apart. And then listen without being defensive.
The previous point is related to this advice from Johannsen: there is no better way to understand what the other person expects, or what they like or dislike, than by speaking it. Even during sexual intercourse, they can pause and talk and then restart more comfortably.
“When you feel that you can clearly understand where a person is coming from and you can be open and honest with her in your communication, that will also lead you to a deeper physical connection“, Assured the expert to the publication.
It is not about having a psychoanalysis session with your partner, but about knowing how they are emotionally and physically to reduce the stress of the encounter. And if you don’t want to have such a deep conversation at that time you can limit themselves to expressing what turns them on and how they want to be touched in the meeting.
Look at it from the nice side
A little humor helps dissolve tension at all times, and sex is no exception. Johannsen suggests that they not take sex so seriously and that they lighten their mood in bed. “Being physically out of sync with each other is one of the ways that seemingly uncomfortable things can happen, but If you are able to take it lightly or laugh at the discomfort, that can help you accept the fact that sex can be fun and enjoy it. more easily, ”says Johannsen.
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